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Traffic school for scoundrels

I got a parking ticket back in May for driving 72 mph in a 50 mph zone, on a stretch of Highway 101 called “Hospital Curve”. Nobody slows down for this section, but I got nailed. So I’ve paid my $200 fine this morning, and my $35 fee for traffic school so that my “point” of bad traffic judgment is expunged from my record. Plus a $6 convenience fee for being able to pay in my pajamas on a Saturday morning

Of course I’ve opted for an online traffic school ($20 more). Specifically the Fast Easy Happy Traffic School, which I love because it sounds like a Chinese food take-out place.

So, I’m actually in the middle of the traffic school right now, Saturday morning, while Brij and Saloni are at a playdate. This school is a cheater’s dream, I’ve discovered. After dutifully reading the laborious sections on traffic rules, you click to take the multiple-option quiz. If you get something wrong, Fast Easy Happy repeats the same question, and helpfully inserts onto the page the sections of the text that explain the traffic regulation. Yes, they insert the paragraph containing the answer immediately beneath the question you got wrong.

So I’ve natually accelerated my test-taking by skipping the laborious reading part, taking a shot at the quiz, and then correcting the answers I got wrong. (A fraction of the total, I swear. I was paying attention in High School.) Zoom!

But sometimes you can’t avoid reading the text of the rules and advice, even at Fast Easy Happy traffic school. For instance, I got stopped cold by this not-s0-happy advice:

If your vehicle plunges into deep water, but does not sink immediately, escape through a window. If the vehicle sinks beneath the surface before you can escape, the weight of the engine will force the front end down first. Do not panic, as this usually creates an air pocket in the back of the vehicle. Find this pocket and get into it quickly. Breathe in deeply. When the vehicle has settled, you should be able to escape through a window. If there are young children or anyone else in the vehicle that is unable to release their safety belts, be sure to do so before leaving the vehicle

Jeez! I don’t want to read that on a Saturday morning!

Baby needs a cellphone

Daddy and Brij share a moment before bedtime, and the baby calls it like he sees it.

babycellphone

Daddy’s a little slow

One needs to keep on one’s toes, even when grabbing a little video of the bouncing baby before bedtime.

grabbing phone

Nine Rubies historical film footage

From just before the store opened in January ‘06…

Nine Rubies panorama

This was taken with Gopal Sarin’s new digital camera.

BMUG: Slightly used and for sale on Amazon

I’ve come to really enjoy Amazon’s network of used-book sellers. (Particularly the ones who sell books for a penny plus shipping and handling — you gotta love that.) But this just made me laugh out loud: There’s a whole bunch of BMUG Newsletters, as well as other BMUG publications, listed and available used from Amazon. Berkeley nostalgists: check it out.

My friends are on the Internet!

David Morgenstern sent me and Raines this amusing link to a video on ValleyWag. Where should I start with the explanations?

1) David Morgenstern is a dear friend, former coworker, and fellow alumna of BMUG. (Funny aside: www.BMUG.com is now for sale!)

1a) While volunteering at meetings and geek dinners, all BMUGers of a certain age got to know John “Captain Crunch” Draper, the semi-infamous hacker/creepy guy in the background of the above video. That’s why David sent it to me.

1b) It’s odd to note in retrospect that all of us college kids in BMUG (and some high schoolers) knew that Draper liked to get unusually physical with young men. (Nothing serious, but no other old guy was asking for or offering backrubs.) And we just kept a wary eye and snickered about it. I guess communities get used to errant behavior within bounds.

2) ValleyWag (a blog offering up frequent snarky comments on Silicon Valley life and the low-rent celebrity that goes with success in technology) has been really taking the piss out of ZDNet — the Web site that I run at CNET. Most especially the ZDNet Blogs.

2a) ValleyWag has made vicious fun of one of our first bloggers, Steve Gillmor, who recently resigned (in his blog!) from blogging on ZDNet.

3) In a followup to his resignation post, Gillmor explained his recent history of hopping from firm to firm in tech media, all as explanation for his latest hop. In the post, he takes a swipe at his former editors at eWeek:

“As with InfoWorld, I was fired for cause, in this case cause I just didn’t give a damn what some online pinhead in the San Francisco office had to say about what journalism was all about.”

3a) That “online pinhead” was David Morgenstern.

3b) Matthew Rothenberg, another dear friend and former editor-in-chief of eWeek, takes a velvet-gloved swipe right back at Gillmor in the comments section of the ZDNet blog.

 Who can keep up?

Job openings: Stephen is hiring

I’ve got two new jobs at CNET Networks Business group that I’m trying to fill, so please pass these around to any and all who might fit. Both jobs are in San Francisco.

1) Senior Product Manager for ZDNet. This position involves the thankless task of taking over many of my day-to-day responsibilities for the ZDNet.com Web site, and working side-by-side with editor-in-chief Dan Farber to remake the side as a much more exciting and news-driven brand.

2) SEO Specialist. (That’s “search-engine optimization” for those of you at home.) This job requires a strong analytical/technical bent and an understanding of content. All harnessed to get more traffic to CNET’s business brands from the big 3 search engines. We have a HitWise license, too, which should help.

I’m the hiring manager, so send the resumes to me.

Job openings: Josh Taylor is hiring

Josh, newly minted cheese of communications at Teach For America, needs to hire two communications managers and one Web producer. He doesn’t have the Web job description written yet, but Faithful Readers can contact him directly at josh.taylor@teachforamerica.org.

This is cowboy

I just have to write this down for posterity. Brij figured out the structure of “This is…”, so we now get to hear ongoing commentary: This is black car, this is milk, this is Thomas choo-choo.

But the sweetest pronouncement came after Atul and Shona Sarin brought him a very cute, two-year-old-sized leather vest and chaps. This from their recent trip to Yellowstone Nat’l Park. We put it on the nearest two-year-old, and he promptly pronounced, “This is cowboy.”

And so it was.

Brij’s 2nd birthday

Compared to last year, where our boy ended up in an ambulance, this birthday was fantastic! We stretched the fun out for several days, starting with presents on Friday (the actual “Big Aught Two”), one more on Saturday, then a veritable orgy of gifts on Sunday (when we had friends and playmates over). There are still some presents hidden away for a rainy day–so. Mom, if you’re wondering why he hasn’t mentioned the helicopter, now you know why. Tons of pictures over on WebShots.

Saloni did a great job with getting Thomas the Tank Engine decorations for the Sunday get-together. She had this lovely banner made, too, which is just too special for words. Words in a dictionary, I mean.